So many parents, relatives and loved ones of those in bondage to sexual sin have reached out to me seeking answers. I have insight but the answers one needs are in the Word of God. Homosexuality, transsexuality, pornography, fornication, promiscuity, adultery, lasciviousness, pedophilia, bestiality, masturbation – those held in bondage to these forms of sexual sin who wish to get out are not hopeless. With Christ, there is always hope…there is always help.
1. The most important rule – love your child unconditionally. Christ is love. Breakthrough and healing throughout the New Testament was always preceded by Christ showing love. Perhaps the best example is His encounter with the woman at the well. He was open in conversation and not judgmental. Yes, He did let her know He was aware of her relationship with a man who was not her husband, but He didn’t go in on the lady! My mother and father never abandoned me. My parents were a 1-2 punch in terms of discipline but their love is what kept me through many trials. Don’t cut your child off. Love them.
2. Love the lover. Honestly, my family treated many of my lesbian lovers as their own kids…some even got better treatment than me…lol. If any of my former lovers have an issue, they can still call my Mom now for an encouraging word. I know this is hard for some parents but hating your son’s boyfriend isn’t going to accomplish anything. If you have set the Christian standard in your home, LIVE IT!
3. Set boundaries – early. If your children are continually disrespecting you and your house, you are in trouble. Sexual activity (straight or gay) was not allowed in my parent’s home, period. As an adult, my lovers were welcomed to visit but any freaky deaky meant a quick trip to the nearest hotel. I was not allowed to cross dress as a kid – period. Pornography was also not allowed – period. I didn’t tell my parents what to do. They told me. End of conversation. My parents set boundaries. If I did not respect them, I had to find another housing alternative. Boundaries help reinforce biblical principles that will never be forgotten.
4. Subject the flesh to the spirit. Simply put, lay the foundation, pray and get others to pray. Start early. My parents began laying the foundation for their children when we were babies. For example, my father, a former alcoholic, accepted Christ and took the entire family to church every Sunday. No football game and no barbecue could keep our family from worship together. We never missed church and we labored as a family for Christ. Every summer I toured the revival circuit with my Dad. I disliked it but now as an adult I’m so happy he forced me to because he was subjecting my flesh to the spirit. He did this for years. If I didn’t obey, my Mom subjected my rear end to the belt! The many prayers that seemed unfruitful back then are being manifested now. It is important to apply spiritual principles to the flesh. It works, in God’s time.
5. Pray the proper prayer. Praying for a child’s deliverance if he or she does not love the truth of God will be very frustrating for you. If someone doesn’t love God’s truth, you may be praying a futile prayer. Let’s look at scripture – II Thessalonians 2:10. Here the Bible clearly states the importance of “the love of the truth”. It is essential to being saved. In verse 11, the Bible says what happens when one does not have the love of the truth – God sends them strong delusions so that they believe lies. Once one of the nation’s more visible lesbians, I truly believe my love for God’s truth is what saved me. Even though I lived in sin, I read my Bible and went to church because I loved the truth. I lived in indifference but I pursued the truth. I remember rolling on XTC with all of these women in the studio. Around 6am, I suggested we go to Sunday School. Yes, I was high but the truth appealed to me even when I refused to live it. After awhile, the truth set me free. Don’t beg God to deliver your child. Perhaps ask that He place the love of His truth (and Word) into your child’s heart. The stage will then be set for deliverance.
6. Never give up on the promise of God and STAND. I get a tremendous amount of support in ministry. Even before BET’s Sunday Best, I had so much support. I’ve also had my share of attacks. People say discouraging things to me and talk crazy about me but what do I care? They are going to talk about me anyway so let them talk. My closest friends tried to talk me out of ministry. They told me I would fail. They told me if I spoke publicly about leaving homosexuality, it would end my career. I never listened because I believed in the promise of God. When the doctors gave up on me, I believed! You must believe in Christ’s ability to deliver your child. Your friends, perhaps family, people on social media, the government – they will all try to convince you Christ isn’t real and sin is ok. It is a lie! Don’t buckle to lies. When people laugh at or insult your faith – STAND! Don’t respond, don’t argue, don’t debate – STAND. Satan will bait you but don’t flinch – STAND. I am proof God works. His Son still heals.
Amen and God bless!